hey friends!
Is it possible to heal? To get to the other side of betrayal?
YES.
If you find yourself in the throes of betrayal, feeling unsure, stuck, and triggered — wondering if you can ever trust (or be happy) again — I can help.
what people are saying
GET TO KNOW ME — in a nutshell
“I’ll never go back..” My husband looked over at me and said that his days using porn were over.
He cried. I cried. He said he would never do it again. I forgave him and we moved on.
But, it didn’t heal. The wounds and the pain simply festered under the surface. . It wasn’t until a year later I discovered how deep my husband’s porn addiction truly was and life “blew up” in my face.
In that moment, everything I knew suddenly felt like a lie.
I didn’t know which way was up or down, if I was moving forward or backward, or even if it was possible to heal.
I felt like I was falling through a black hole — and I had no idea if I would come out the other side.
And yet, there was a flicker of something inside of me. It was the fragile resolution, that I would make it, that I’d be okay.
Today, I want to be that flicker of hope for you.
Because I want you to know that healing is possible.
BUT, this doesn’t heal on it’s own — time doesn’t heal the wounds of betrayal.
Yes, you can try and bury it. But whatever you bury, you bury alive.
And it festers and shows it’s ugly head in all kinds of ways.
You may try to shut down the pain, but you lose part of yourself in the process.
You may decide that you can’t trust again and it hardens you.
Oftentime you lose your ability to be carefree and your sense of adventure.
You see, trauma and grief are incredibly patient. If you chose not to deal with them, they will just hang out in the background until you are ready. The problem is that 1 year, 5, 10, 30 years later it’s still there, destroying you in the process.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Freedom is possible.
And I know if I can heal, you can heal.
Hi, I’m Tammy Gustafson.
I’m a betrayal trauma coach, writer, and speaker. I’ve also been a licensed professional counselor specializing in PTSD and trauma for more than 13 years.
But nothing prepared me for the work I do more than my own experience of being betrayed by my husband.
When life “blew up” it shattered me.
After almost 10 years into what I thought was a perfect marriage, I discovered that my husband had a pornography addiction. Everything I knew, suddenly felt like a lie. And every insecurity I ever had suddenly felt confirmed and like it was on steroids.
The question that kept circling inside my head: “How do I survive this pain? Is it even possible to heal? ”
Eventually, I leaned into the healing process. We went to counseling. I found my voice, and reconnected with my worth and value.
I made it.
My marriage made it as well. But no matter whether your marriage is redeemed, you get divorced, or you co-exist as roommates in the end, there is good life ahead for you. You can heal – with or without your husband.
I know because I’ve helped hundreds of women through the healing process and find life and fullness again after betrayal.
When you’re ready, I can help you too.
Here’s a few things you might find surprising interesting about me:
1. I own a motorcycle named Stella. She’s a big beautiful girl, and if you see a woman with red hair singing at the top of her lungs on a Harley Davidson just outside of Denver, it’s probably me.
2. I was already a counselor specializing in trauma and PTSD when I found out about my husband’s betrayal. So let’s just say my shift to focusing on betrayal trauma counseling and coaching was a natural fit.
hello!
3. My new favorite hobby is indoor skydiving. My husband actually took me for my birthday one year — and now I’m totally hooked!
4. I go to Paris every year…by myself! I soak in the beauty, eat chocolate, drink wine, and reconnect with God and myself. One of the most stunning sights in the world is walking along the Seine River at night, with all the lights of the city dancing off the river. It’s absolutely gorgeous!
take the quiz!
Healing from sexual betrayal: What phase are you in?
Take this quick 3-minute quiz to uncover which phase you’re in, and the next steps to heal, build strength, confidence, and self-worth.
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